Posts tagged ‘創作’
我的愛與不愛
我從來不是太喜歡鍾的攝影作品，儘管他是CM人眼中數一數二的攝影師。他的作品我不能說不好看，作為商業攝影的確是個客戶會愛用的攝影師；可是我總是覺得，他的作品中缺少了甚麼，並沒有一種細膩耐讀的感覺，似乎就在一張平面之上，僅此而已。
我卻有好多同學朋友，多麼慶幸遇上他們，都好有才華，讓我欣羨不已。我喜愛讀他們的作品，慢慢讀、細細讀，好像都有很多故事，來不及訴說，就凝住在那一格影像之中，沉澱得那麼深。
珠珠的作品從來都讓我鍾愛甚至沉溺不已，是我心目中的女神(!)。她的照片很輕靈、好溫柔，每每都讓我微笑，總是感覺到，她在拍攝的時候灌注進去那一份濃濃的、對生命的喜悅與愛惜；這也是她總讓人感覺如此堅定美麗的原因。很簡單的，不埋怨甚麼，好好的愛與認真過生活，從不對自己說謊。
我做作品，常常都很痛苦；創作於我而言是一件生命的事，因此我很難去做一件不私密的作品。畢業作品要理性地舖排、和指導老師談進度，對我來說太難了。如果我懂得理性地說，大概就不必創作。現在排這個戲，也是一個考驗。到底我在和很多人合作，劇場創作不是獨個兒埋頭就能完成的，我卻又始終覺得劇場才是屬於我的最終形式。把很底層的挖出來，我們一起去找尋。於是又有人覺得，我的作品看不懂；也常常會聽到一句話就是，你的作品啊，好陳冠而囉。那是好抑或不好呢？在學習和創作伙伴、和觀眾/閱讀者/聆聽者溝通的同時，要保持自己對自己的真誠。如果有人喜歡我的作品，覺得我的作品好看的話，我想原因應該是我每次都有努力的，向自己的深處挖掘，並且真誠面對。而我覺得去讀去愛一個別人的作品，每每包含著一種寬容、一種愛護，才能夠去，把屬於某一個人秘而不宣的內心語言讀懂，並且理解、包容。
陳露拍的照我也好喜歡。記得year 1上攝影課的時候我覺得她拍的照片很悶；貴州之旅卻讓我驚艷。她的照片是紀實的風格，裏面深深埋藏著對人的關懷。如果說珠的照片裏在寧靜之中帶有一種跳躍的詩意，那麼露的照片就近乎坦率是一種凝視，可是又非常含蓄，在裏面非常深。
拍照，學習構圖、光影、前後景還不難，再學用機器、菲林製造效果、美麗的肌理色彩都不算難；可是拍得出一種氣氛，讓人禁不住停留在照片之中，覺得故事餘音沓沓，反覆玩味還是捨不得離開，那，不是溫柔與真心愛惜的人是辦不到的。
雖然不知道你們將來的打算如何，還是衷心的希望，你們別要停止創作。因為至少我是一直期待你們的作品的。
Multimedia-theatre: video design for contemporary dance performance “City and the Self”
City and the Self was choreographed by Kwok-kayuen. It was a contemporary dance performance under the Emerging Choreographers’ Series held by the Hong Kong Dance Alliance, funded by Hong Kong Arts Development Council.
Visual ethnography: The Queen(s) & the Star(s)
Interview about HK identites; clips of interview with Chimo
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Where is my sea?
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“當某些事情被反覆論述時, 這些事情其實和原來所指距離了多遠? 變成了甚麼? 擴展到甚麼? … 集體回憶中的集體是怎樣構成的? 我(地)有無份? 我(地)是個體, 還是集體中的個體, 還是…??”
:: Introduction to my project
My original plan was to collect allegories about Hong Kong and through collecting and analyzing, to investigate how Hong Kong stories are interpreted and represented, as well as what symbols are being used and concerning about what lied behind the constructions of such narratives. The initial idea is definitely promising, but as what I foresaw, the scale was too big and I had to slim it down.
I started with browsing videos in youTube which are search results of keyword “Hong Kong” or “香港”. Most of them are tourism promotion videos, history documentaries and advertisements. My observation is they are full of stereotypical Hong Kong “icons” or “images”, for instance, a sailing boat in the Victorian Harbor, or a middle-aged chubby Chinese guy showing the audience a langouste.
I focused on identifying stereotypical icons of representations of Hong Kong, and then discovered that there is always a way of speaking lying behind these grand narratives of Hong Kong stories. Hong Kong is portrayed in a particular way which we all Hong Kong citizens are familiar with, in and only in representations. The portrayed Hong Kong images are imaginary ones, somehow is not really the Hong Kong we are living in.
Several terms are being over-used without careful considerations. “Collective memories” and “Hong Kong local identities”, etc. “Memories of Hong Kong” become no more personal, but discourses. Some ways of speaking are suppressed, while some are being dominant.
I then decided to confine the scope to only two overt symbols, “the Queen” and “the Star”. Obviously, these two symbols would be connected to current hot cultural issues which are the fight about conserving the tower of Star Ferry (天星鐘樓) and the Queen Pier (皇后碼頭). Meanwhile, these two symbols are embedded with a strong impression of the colonial period.
I interviewed five Hong Kong local citizens, beginning by asking them whether they would identify themselves as a “Hong Kong-er” (香港人) or not, then gradually went into their personal memories of lives in Hong Kong, towards “the Queen’ and as well as their views upon “the Queen” ’s issue. A collection part is also included. I invited the interviewees to provide me something representing “the Queen” and select from a batch of pictures which are representations of “queen”. Then I asked them to recall if any more “queens” are still remain in Hong Kong. The last part of the interview, I gave the interviewees several passages I abstracted from the internet which people wrote about “the Queen” ’s issue, and asked them to select a short piece and read.
Based on the interviews, I then went to take photographs and collect videos of what the interviewees recalled as the remaining “queens”.
In the following part, I will discuss how the process is and what my discovery is of the research.
:: Research process and discoveries – interview part
I started the interviews with asking the interviewees that, if they would declare themselves as a “Hong Kong-er”. Following this very first question, I then asked them to recall significant issues or memories they would put as highlights to signify their teenage lives in Hong Kong. As the framework was set to discussions about Hong Kong identities and collective memories, in the following parts the interviewees automatically direct themselves to think of and respond to my questions within the field. I actually just used the term “queen” in stead of “the Queen Pier” until the interviewees used the term themselves, but all of them made connections themselves already. As the frame applied, we were speaking in common language which “queen” was signifying issues about “the Queen Pier” and moreover, topics about cultural conservations, collective memories and also space politics.
In the interviews, I actually played with “the Queen” in different levels, cultural and semiotic. One question was, “Where else can we still find ‘queens’ now in Hong Kong, as you could recall?” There were diverse responses.
Colonial histories
“The Queen” icon obviously represents the whole period of colonial history to Mrs. Kwok as she focused on mentioning places about the colonial period.
For Chimo, he mentioned some share places as Mrs. Kwok, but he focused more on the figure of queen. For example, he mentioned the sculpture in the Queen Square and Victoria Park.
Monica made associations based on colonial period’s memories and geographical relation, as she mentioned the journey on Star ferries crossing the harbour, while pointing that the pier she often used is near the Queen’s Pier.
Carol jumped from memories of Hong Kong to the United Kingdom. She described the ambiguous identity of Hong Kong-ers being in UK and the strange intimacy between the colonial empire and the citizens of the colony.
Big Jump
Maze, which is a very special one, associated varied examples as she took “queen” not only as representation or symbol of colonial history, but to more extents. For example, she mentioned the “queen” in Disney cartoons and the “Queen’s Cake Shop” in Festival Walk. Also, she mentioned “Queen’s Road Central” and “Queen’s Road East” because of linguistic connection, then she further associated to a song of Law Tai Yau, and more she linked to a film which the protagonist sang the song in. This is certainly a good demonstration of lateral-associative thinking and also a game of semiotics, which one signifier can actually signify diverse signified(s).
Maze’s association is also revealing how complex the symbol of “queen” is embedded in our cultural knowledge network.
Besides questions and discussions, I put some activities into the interviews, which is the second part of it. These activities have their own significance and stirred different kinds of discussions. They are also creative-collecting activities collaborated with the interviewees and I.
:::: Pictures of “Queen”
In the second part of the interview, I gave the interviewees a batch of printed images, which are search results of Google using keywords “皇后”, “女皇” or “queen”. Google’s search results are not only confined to those of Hong Kong, so “the queen” here is of more representations from all over the internet. Pictures tagged with “queen” differ a lot from “queen” in discourses of “queen” in Hong Kong, but here I bring these two aspects together by asking the interviewees to select picture(s) to represent their “queen” in such context.
::::: Collecting “Queen”s
I asked the interviewees to provide me some materials which could be collected by me as a representation of “queen”. I actually had a idea of collecting coins with icon of Queen Elizabeth bear in mind, but I did not suggest to the interviewees. However, all of them thought of the same idea with me. It is so strong to see that coin with “queen” is a shared deep memory of Hong Kong-ers from different ages and backgrounds.
The collecting activity stirred discussions from interviewees and rouse memories of everyday lives with coins. The coins are ordinary things we used almost every day but seldom pay attention to. Interestingly, Carol joined the interview with Monica after I interviewed her and they two discussed about the coins. Monica said she thought that coins were with “queens” as she had used for years and did not notice that now most of the coins have been changed into “flowers” [the Bauhinia]. She could not find even one coin with a “queen” in her purse. Then Carol made her contradicting comment, which she always thought that coins were with “flowers” in stead of “queens”. It is obvious to notice that Monica was born and grown up in colonial period while 1997, the year of handover, is just Carol’s.
::::: Reading about “Queen”
The passages I gave the interviewees were mostly abstracted from blogs where Hong Kong people wrote about the Queen Pier’s issue. All the interviewees said they did not read these passages so as the blogs before, and the main source to know about the issue is from TV news or online newspapers. I provided them an opportunity to read these passages but meanwhile the availability of articles is restricted by me. I then asked the interviewees to select one or more short paragraphs which they had strong feelings or they thought it is important to read. This is a multi-layered-selection and read-re-read process. The articles were selected by me and then by the interviewees, and then read by the interviewees, recorded and watched by audiences.
After reading-out, I asked them why they chose such paragraphs. Through the above activities, interviewees made dialogs to the writers. Reading-out others’ writings is like an echo. Audience will perceive the writings through the interviewees’ mouths, which consist of multi-layers of interpretations and performances.
::::::::: interviewing as an actively provoking activities (event level)
The interviews were not merely “collecting views”, they were events.
In the interviews, personal memories were raised upon the grand narratives of collective memories. Individual voices were preserved. The interviewees expressed their own interpretations on the same issue which were really diverse and surprising.
The interviewees got opportunities to articulate themselves. All of them reflected that they seldom talked about such issues, but they are actually full of opinions waited to be discovered. They did mention that they thought they were “powerless”(Monica) and “had no rooms”(Chimo) to speak up.
In front of the camera, the interviewees spoke more formally and really dug into the issue which I had not had such discussion with some of them before. So here the camera’s presence is significant, it provoked.
:: My interventionist game
Based on the interviews, I did some follow-up works. I took what the interviewees recalled as “Queen” and then went to sites they mentioned, to play a generative game.
Photo-taking adventure
I took pictures of what they mentioned and also during the walk, took pictures of things or scenes consist of symbols or printed words of “queen” or “star”.
I tried to locate the places where I might not pay attention to before and really went there to take a photo. Then I marked on the map where I took the pictures and the map will be shown in my installation to let the audience connect the taken photographs and the geographical positions.
Through such activity, I locate the “memories” mentioned by the interviewees into the living real places through my act. I really experience the places (or things) which previously were something heard from others, and turned into my own memories.
Also, the adventure was completed by me, so the photos taken were the interpretations of their memories by me, the ethnographer. It is shared authorship. In the interview, I first decided questions and directions to work with, then the interviewees’ responses became my rules and drove me to somewhere totally unexpected.
I and the interviewees, we together constructed alternative interpretations of “the queen” and becoming subversion of the discourse of collective memories of the Queen Pier.
Video : “Where is my sea?”
Passing through the new Star Ferry pier, walking alongside the harbour, I saw blockades which prohibited me from seeing the Victorian Harbour. I then took my DV camera, started from the first blockade, walked along the coast until I could see the sea without blockade again. With the help of the apparatus, I recorded the whole journey and turned into a video called “Where is my sea?”. Audience can experience the whole walk with me which surprised me that it took so long to see the harbour again. Also, scenes of the sea coast road were preserved. And for me, I created my own memory of the Queen Pier and Victorian Harbour .
:: Final output and my creative decisions
The final output will be an installation, an assemblage of my collectibles and my responses, which consists of video of interviews and “Where is my sea?”, photos taken in the generative game, a map with marks, collection of coins with “queen” and a small booklet with my own reflections.
The installation comprises of different interpretations rooting from the symbol “queen” and “star”. Dominant discourses are re-considered and challenged but there is not a given new answer. So the title of my work is called “The Queen(s) and the Star(s)”. The “(s)” is emphasizing open-ended answers and questions.
- video / interview ( in DVD + booklet) : archives + my reflections (reflexivity)
I put the interview footages into a DVD within very simple editing, aiming at preserve the entire interview and make it accessible to audiences. I added few texts as my highlights instead of full transcript. Those highlights were keywords or sentences caught me most when I second read the footages. I wrote my reflections and printed into a small booklet to be put beside the television for audiences to read. The writings of mine expressed what I thought as a researcher and emphasize the presence of the researcher. Instead of single-channel video broadcasting, I choose the DVD format as I would like to leave room for audiences to surf through the DVD on their own choices, sequences and skip or pause or fast forward if they want. Also, they could refer the DVD to the booklet, to surf through these two media and choose what to read.
- video / “Where is my sea?” + map : highlighting
The video “Where is my sea?” is also put into the DVD. The coast line I walked through to shoot the video was highlighted on the map shown in the installation. Such setting let the audience to refer my representation to the geographical position of the pier and the harbour.
- photos displaying : archives + performative
As the above video, the photos will be shown and also marked on the map where they were shot. Varied kinds of images suggest diverse ways to interpret what “queen” and “star” could mean.
- collections
Collections of coins were put in plastic conservation bags and will be shown in the installation. The collections are input of the interviewees, in which they become participants, a more active role. Also, the act of putting the coins into bags is an act of conservation. Meantime, coins in bags can be symbolizing the suppressed, buried or dust-laden memories of colonial period.
:: Conclusion and evaluation
Operations during research
Camera skills should be enhanced and recording style and framing should be considered more carefully for the sake of editing and creative treatment. Some backgrounds of interviewees were too noisy, which caused difficulties in adding texts and diminished the visual qualities.
Cultural level
Beginning with interviews I gathered lots of information about how my interviewees thought of Hong Kong identities and issues about the Queen Pier. I gained knowledge of what other aspects of Hong Kong is like which I do not know from their memories and share views with them.
The collecting activities led to surprising results as the interviewees actively recalled memories and expressed views which I do not expect from my decided questions.
Processing materials and documenting
The process of making documents is not done quite well. I was over-optimistic and overlooked the workload I was going to encounter, so I was running out of time after the first stage of the research. I actually have not yet tagged and coded all my documents, as well as analysing them. This led to the difficulties I faced in the creative intervention part. So the output can only be considered as an assemblage of my research process and creative activities I have gone through. But this would be an excellent lesson for my graduation thesis and other research-based projects.
Materials gathered are to be made into documents in more careful decisions afterwards, in order not to minimize the lost of details.
But yet I like the diversity of materials that I collected, and displaying such diverse materials is a worthy activity for audiences and I.
After the process of making documents, detailed analysis is to be done. Drawing graphs and creating hyper-text documents would be helpful.
Video work: Birth
Work Info
Work length : 00:07:01
Digital Video, Colour, PAL
Script : Samuel Beckett, “Not I”
Script / Director / Cameraperson / Setting / Lighting / Sound / Editing
Casting : Maze Chan Man Hei, Mandy Chan Man Yu
Artist Statement
讀了Samuel Beckett的劇本“Not I”，只有一個嘴巴不停說十多分鐘話的劇本；裏面說生育，說愛說痛說怕說光。一個鮮紅嘴巴在我腦海中縈迴不去，如果它不在劇場中而在錄像中呢。
在錄像的屏幕中，身體的被放置性已很強，而靜止鏡頭與固定擺設更把這被壓迫感無限放大；這和“Not I”中被拋入這世界的存在的無力感、又和我身邊的女性故事那麼相通。我嘗試放入女體，讓她(們)被觀賞。置放一長桌上，如被宰割的牲；又想到了進食。進食是需求又是苛索，用的是那說話的嘴巴；而女子，被入侵的陰道，似被強行的餵食。同樣的行為可以是愛，也可以是傷害。
因此陰道裏嘴巴是雙置的存在，吞進或吐出，包容或被侵害；它一直說話，但那又不是她的聲音。語言如此強大，語言如此乏力。
當我作為演員那一刻，被灌水的滋味如同窒息，身體的局限那麼大；我沒有想過被蹂躪的感覺會那麼強烈，無力反抗，我很想哭。折騰我的她卻得到快感，強行灌食是否一如入侵的行為？躺臥的半裸的她，身體被操控不由自主，無法言語；我們只能哭喊互相憐惜慰藉。我想到女子，在性的層面上的被動性；聽誰說過陽具是宣泄，是入侵，陰道只能包容，和愛。但我又想，陽具為何又不能是包容和愛呢？雖或許難。
我很喜歡尾段的紅布與白漆。紅布的包裹像喪葬但又像母體，當她溫柔地覆蓋時突然又緊捏我的頸項然後又撫我的臉。愛好複雜，又暴烈又溫柔，又鍾愛又憎恨。生如此痛楚，無論對母體或胎兒；生育和死亡如此接近，出生又推向死亡。
白漆是甚麼我本來沒定義，其出現是因為我想嘗試物的表演性，而我想要液體，但出來的效果很特別。有點像淚，又像陰道體液；最令我意外的是一位演員說，像精液。這個解讀力量很強。明顯地做work那時的我對男性的身體還非常陌生，現在再做的話，對精液的體會又強烈了很多。
分場(舊文重貼)
1 啟始
2 橋
3 風聲
4 在黑暗中行走的一個人．緩慢
5 靜止
6 雨
7 大衣
8 圓
9 無眠
10 風葉抖動
11 眠
12 曉
1. 頭髮 La Chevelure (Charles Baudelaire)
2. 被夜鶯驚嚇的兩孩童Two Children Threatened by a Nighttingale
2.1. 歌聲變得更加尖銳，訪客看見發光體四處跳躍
3. 被迫害的年輕女孩 A Young Persecuted Girl
4. 磁場 Champs magnetiques
5. 薇妲與寄生蟲 Venda and the Parasite
6. 食慾與性慾
1 歡愉
2 陳舊腳本
3 來自潛意識的幻夢
4 被壓抑者試圖讀下去
5 詼諧地戲擬
5.1 沉重的無力感在繽紛色彩與喧鬧中被彰顯
6 分割零碎與扺抗
7 竊聽者
8 背叛者
9 皇上夢歲
10 還童女子
1. 做愛
1.1. 急促而熱烈
1.2. 痛楚
2. 嘔吐
2.1. 每一次她都會嘔吐
2.2. 站在房子角落，開啟一扇小小的門，讓黃色的燈透進，她佇立著，呆怔
3. 稚童
3.1. 一個十歲的天真女孩
4. 女性對女性的愛戀
4.1. 她記起了曾經的親密，光滑細膩的質感
5. 佛洛依德的陳腔濫調
5.1. 誦讀佛洛依德的心理分析。天啊她簡直覺得這瘋子在胡謅
6. 男性身體
6.1. 這是另一個世界。無法拒絕，比女人更為神秘的另一個世界。
7. 雨水
7.1. 濕潤。是生存的、生育的基本。
8. 清理房間
8.1. 雨水把房間打得濕透，拿著抹布把每一個縫隙抹乾淨。
8.2. 滿身大汗，她坐在地上，半挨著身子，喘息。
9. 獸
10. 受傷的脊柱
11. 門徒
12. 隱喻．詞彙
13. 流徙
14. 推銷員
15. 陰陽同體
16. 零零星星
17. 裸露的潛意識
18. 當所有毀滅時，＿＿可以長存
19. 但是，我並不喜歡燈光
年老
傾頹
其下
神秘的含意
念佛
土狼的氣味
脆弱的、多孔的、容易被穿刺的
和恐懼並存
進入死亡的幽谷
一個大洞
嚮導
外在的腸子
剜去眼睛、剁去鼻子
或者說很悲慘地
黑暗白晝
饕餮
空白領域
多餘贅物
語言和舌頭
讓腹部消失掉
瀉滿一地
迷人的動作
不斷的剪紙
重複跌下
緩慢行走
浸沒
很具宗教意味的女體
然後被撕裂
瘋癲
然後很理性
男性的英雄崇拜
然後萎頓一地
一切破滅，而不可復轉
天上的雲彩(舊文重貼)
天上的雲彩緩慢地流動。男子跟隨著空氣的步伐，徐徐步著。
有一個把女孩變成泡沫的故事，女孩聽了很是感動，因為她一直想要變成泡沫。她卻不知道，人是不能變成泡沫的，變成泡沫的其實是一條人魚。
女孩打開了她喜愛的童話繪本，大聲誦讀著她喜愛的故事。有時故事並不優美，可是她讀得很優美。
一個皮球滾到女孩的腳邊，女孩繼續讀完她的故事，才把皮球拾起。
白色的幼獸打了個跟斗，在女孩身旁出現；女孩與獸對望了好一陣子，互相逗玩起來。
男子蹲下，看著女孩與獸在鬧著玩，跑得團團轉。很久沒有見過這樣令人愉悅的情景了。男子嘴角泛起淺淺的笑，好溫柔。
女孩兒跟獸玩得氣都喘了，就一屁股坐到地上，獸乖巧的鑽到她身旁，挨靠著女孩。
男子用手推著地，緩緩站起，然後揚起手來，嘭！
沉重的鐵門關上，以後都打不開。
女孩撫著獸柔軟的毛髮，靜靜睡去。
女子進來，為她蓋上一張薄氈。素白衣裳的人逐一步進來，瞻仰女孩的臉容。
一個戴尖長帽子的人把右手按在女孩的胸口，唸起了聖潔的禱文。戴尖長帽子的人說，當榮光照耀，右邊的門開啟，父將用溫暖永恒地照耀你。
女子站在人群的後方，雙手按著隱隱作痛的胸口。
「我那還未出生便已消逝的孩兒，你還可安好嗎。」
「如果父那裏是溫暖的吧，你便把光都一同帶去吧。」
人們親吻女孩的額角，然後轉身離去。走得不遠，就站在鐵籠的左手邊。
「女兒呀。」
「你終於都如此呼喚我了嗎。」
「女兒。」
「你不知道被母親背棄的孩子的悲痛。」
「我終於也能夠天真地笑，自如地轉圈，不是因為得著了從你而來的軀體，而是因為捨去了被你囚禁的靈魂。」
「我其實不可能有任何的悲傷，我只是那麼純淨無瑕地站著，一如原初的祼露，毫無羞愧。」
「沒有罪，就無悔恨。」
母親跪在女兒面前，乞求原諒。
「卻沒有救贖。因為還未有聖潔的人流血捨身。」戴尖長帽子的人說。
母親乏力，撒手在女兒之前。
女兒拾起母親乾枯的手，拖拉著那被咒詛的身體，把它毀棄在鐵籠的右前方。
人們揚起雙手，呼喊尊貴的美名。
然後一同逐步踏前，把揚起的雙手垂下，頭垂下。
「願祢垂憐！」尖長帽子說。
「奉美名。」人們同聲。
流動
城市流轉著，沒辦法掌握；我在城市中無法停駐，身體不斷被移送著，記憶與思緒也無法穩固，總是盪動不安。從一個城市流到另一個城市，一片一片重重疊疊，最後我只記得移動的速度和氣味神色，所有曾經穩定的駐腳點卻無法再找到確切的位置。
島嶼一夜間飛馳而去，遺留下，我的手指繞著髮圈輪轉，沒有結果，也無聲音神色氣味；空間萎頓一地，摺縮成一隻紙船，往浮游的陸地漂去。
那夜我揚起粗糙的帆就漂出去了，茫茫然 的光在揮動，不知何許人間。手上似乎有片羊皮，畫滿歪歪斜斜的許多褪色線條，字裏行間透散出人魚的歌聲。我是著迷於這些神秘的圖象，它們用看來熟悉的詞 彙，向我喋喋不休地談論著故事；每一道墨跡喻象著甚麼，悄聲提示世界的經緯之上可能存在著一個如何如何的地方。
揚起的紙角打開一扇門，門的手把鬆脫，鎖不翼而飛，我一不小心掉落在門沿，聽到門外的汽笛聲。
汽笛聲從渡輪的揚聲嗓筒悠悠送出，在海面上編起了白色的精緻蕾絲。女孩撈起這一片片雪花，輕輕黏在裙襬與衣領上；然後雪花擺蕩，搖著船破浪而飛。
船從一片稱為亞洲的土地離開，搖向另一 片名字叫歐洲的。女孩在擺蕩起伏之間恍恍惚惚，紅色的圍巾差點被強勁的海風吹走。是的，海風非常猛烈，讓她的臉掀起了一絲絲乾裂的細紋。風沙捲帶著香料的 氣味，混進那一道道小坑之中。那些氣味以後是無論如何都洗不去了，長此停駐在女孩的笑容之中，沒有隨著淚水而被沖淡。女孩用手格在額頭上，才能稍稍舒緩眼 睛被海風吹得刺痛的不適；才能微微打開眼瞼，瞥見那一抹靛藍。風使勁地吹，逃脫不了靛藍，風被纏上，被染色，她於是看見天空一抹淡藍，掠過髮髻又盤捲而 去。這個海峽多麼壯闊，她想。讓金色還可以優悠地洒落，遍滿一地。甲板也那麼寬廣，如偌大無垠的野地。而風之勁，使甲板上的所有都蜷縮著不噤一聲。很急速 的，很急速的，把一切氣味颳到鼻端，然後瞬即帶走。她吹出一股甜粟米的熱氣，她想也許甜香一直能颳到某個人的鼻端仍裊裊不散，因為風跑得如此快。
抬頭望上去船的帆消失了，剩下一顆星的標誌，然後有爆谷的脆熱在燒。他從前沒有見過烤成這個形狀的蕃薯，不過因為一種熟悉氣味的消失，令他的嗅覺頓時空虛起來。
－ 我是因為想尋找甚麼才出走的。
－ 誰知道一出去了就那麼想回來。
有十二個小時困在一個侷促的冷氣艙裏。 容身的位置比想像中寬敞，她刻意一夜不睡，還吞了兩顆敏感丸，卻是仍然精神奕奕。有人亮著了頭頂那顆小小的太陽在閱讀，有人在呼嚕呼嚕的吃著剛沖好的麵 條，也有人脫下了厚重的鞋子歪歪斜斜在睡。她凝視了那有節奏地開合著的鼻孔片刻，就不期然把視線放回面前那個小小的藍色螢光屏上。其實節目表上誇張地列明 了幾百個可供收看的節目，她卻總是停在同一個頻道上，盯著那只有幾個畫面跳來跳去，絕不可以稱得上是一個節目的東西來看。她卻看得津津有味，甚至興致勃勃 得自己也不自覺地黏了幾下嘴唇。
螢光屏上反覆出現幾個極簡的線圖，和幾堆數字。
Aptitude : 5090 km
Speed :
Ground speed :
Temperature outside : – 72
一個個跳動的數字，標示著速度，溫度，高度；這些科學化而且客觀的詞彙，並未停止她偏執而毫無根據的狂想，並且如湍流上的小石塊，讓她踏著步，愈跨愈遠。
白色的大鳥，背上有紅色的圖騰，遙遙展示著牠所來自的國度，並向將要登陸的未知之地的人民揮動，驕傲地宣稱，牠的國如何地豐饒美好。她悠悠伏在大鳥的翅膀上，有時她覺得，鳥如一個浮動的島嶼，或者輕如一紙漂流的船，總之，飛翔的感覺竟然寧謐。
雲層依舊白茫茫，閃動的光悄聲提醒，我們正飛越一個名字叫黑色的海洋。
想像的旅遊
你不可能如此嬌媚，請用力訴說，你那願望外的他者。
就在那一刻，衝動之外有一扇門，未被開啟已經急不及待，把光線吐露進來；
那是，而那是，如朗誦一般的詩歌。
關於逃走，
我可以訴說很多很多。
在第一天開始我就想著逃離。
在我小小的房間中，我拿著色彩濃艷的異地彩圖，哼起不屬我血族的歌曲來。
鼻端似乎是嗅到高原的氣息。
而我斷續地翻著那旅人的流浪地圖，在想像之中，試圖用歌聲，描繪臨摹，我已經在異地的情景。
彩圖上有七色旗幟在飄揚。天藍得狐媚，我知道，這種飽和度是濾鏡的作用，但他依然如此誘人。
房頂。有陽光酒落而擦過的褐色瓦片。和斜度不一的木磚簷棚。
一隻貓從某一個簷棚與另一個簷棚的縫隙中縱身而下，身體拉得很長，弧形在空中拉成一個美妙的彎度，然後才落下。悄然莫聲。
老人的煙帶黃，不濃，但嗆喉；老人喉頭發癢，乾燥地咳嗽，聲調沙啞。嘴唇不柔軟滑膩，但是質感。
我有時躺在床上，就會想像，幾個月之後，我就不在這個城市裏了，那會怎樣？
在遠方，非常陌生的異域，啊，我真的選擇了土耳其，這個異域。５個月之後我會在伊斯坦堡，在那裏讀書。
那裏的天氣怎樣，居住的地方如何。
離開我熟悉的地方，離開家庭，離開所有的朋友。
而明珠會在克羅地亞，凱在芝加哥，Alvin在紐約。我們會在網上透過小小的鏡頭見面嗎？談起時他們的生活又怎樣？大家上的課怎麼樣？
在香港的朋友呢？他們又怎麼樣了？final year了……大家都會忙碌吧。
忙碌了好久好久，到土耳其，就將會過只有讀書的生活了。純粹而安靜的生活。應該，會給我一種洗滌的重生吧。
土耳其，是蘇菲主義的中心呢！我會在那裏遇見我所渴求的寧靜嗎？
我想，在土耳其的日子，我會專心的讀書，閒時運動、身體鍛鍊，和閱讀。好好的靜下來，跟自己對話、覺知、靜修。短短四個月，我真的真的，再也不要忙碌地過了。我要細細生活每一天。
〔這是５個月之前寫的．５天後．我在異地〕
